I'm ready to shoot myself in the gorram face over this astronomy class. The teacher has been bullshitting around so long that the test we were supposed to take on October 1st is going to be our final. He's ~*making it up to us*~ by making it a hard, but open-note test. Unfortunately, he's given us so many useless junk statistics that I have sixty-two fucking pages of notes with more to come. A lack of forethought on his part should NOT constitute an emergency on mine.

If anyone could offer suggestions on what to do, it'd be greatly appreciated. Otherwise, just cunting kill me and get it over with.

On a lighter note, Zeiss and I are working on another joint snark. Whoop de shit.

ETA: Actually, this song cheered me up considerably. Thank you Ashley and Winamp shuffle. Tips would still be appreciated, though.

SNOW.

ON.

THE FUCKING.

GROUND.


GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

(Out doing a stargazing lab with Scott and a pack of chicks...)
Myself: (watching clouds roll in over Mizar) We're fucked, aren't we?
Chicks: (gasp and laugh)
Chickdar: Oh my God, I'm, like choking on my saliva over here! That word's taller than she is!
Myself: Yeah, can you tell what I'm doing right now?
Scott: Does it involve a middle digit?
Myself: TWO of them.

Came home and systematically shut down a chick on my English forum who was claiming that 10% of women who have blood transfusions after abortions get the hep. Realized that I take blatant misinformation presented as fact as a personal affront because it's really just intellectual bullying.

Not a bad day, really.


In snark news, update on Vibrator Company, and Inky, Zeiss and I have started in on a new project...Zeiss' description says it best:

First, a bit of explanation. “Femboy School”, as our next project is called, isn’t your average bad porno manga. Well, it started off as one, but the version we’re taking on is an edited (very badly - this thing looks like it‘s been floating around the internets since 2001) version by someone named “Nyar”. All my Google-fu has been able to turn up about this “Nyar” character is one post on an incest forum, which pretty much tells you all you need to know about Nyar. The man has issues, and boyyyy is he happy to show you them. This thing plays out like a cross between a bad femdom story and an equally bad Hawkwind album.

So join us, then, as the Fearless Spork Squad ventures to one man’s private hell, and comes out snarking.

Again, all links are NSFW LIEK WHOA ON SANDWICHES

This is SERIOUSLY SHOTA, so Canadians might want to skip this one. The rest of you, please enjoy the first edition of Femboy School.


It's about time to make birthday plans, so if any of y'all wanted to meet up at the end of the month, drop a comment saying when's good for you. You know the drill.


Further bulletins as events warrant.

Myself, to Astronomy teacher: I noticed in the syllabus that Intermediate Algrebra is a co-requisite. Is that required?
Scott: Not implicitly, but if you're graduating this semester, you should be taking it.
Myself: But I... (trails off; long pause) ...I already took Intermediate Algebra. I have no idea what I'm talking about.
Scott: Well, that's good, then.
Myself: (longer pause) ...I am going to go home and get mildly drunk.
Scott: You go have a chill.

I was reading Last Note Nightmare on TV Tropes and noticing that, like another troper had mentioned, it was oddly nerve-wracking just reading about the random, creepy musical dissonance. It probably didn't help that I was listening to Gingerbread Coffin at the same time, but I took comfort in the fact that it was uniformly disturbing, and wouldn't make me jump out of my skin at the end. Noting it as a novelty in my usually unpenetrable Nightmare Fuel shell, I opened a window to note it in my journal.

Then, about in the middle of one of the "she'll rise, SHE'LL RIIIISE", Megan's alarm clock starting BLARING UNTUNED RADIO STATIC A FEW FEET AWAY.

AND NOW I WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO TRY TO LISTEN TO IT WHILE UPLOADING IT AND IT STARTED CUTTING IN AND OUT AT WHAT SHOULD BE THE END AND SCARED THE EVERLOVING CRAP OUT OF ME AGAIN

AND WINAMP IS FREAKING OUT SO I CAN'T SHUT IT OFF

AND NOW IT'S OVER BUT I'M AFRAID TO TOUCH ANYTHING BECAUSE IT MIGHT START SPEWING RANDOM CREAKING AND MUSIC BOX SOUNDS AND LYRICS ABOUT TEACUPS FILLED WITH DEAD FLIES AGAIN

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY


ETA:
Megan: Obviously, your nightmares did this because you didn't sleep. "Well, we've got to get her SOMEHOW..."
Myself: I DON'T WANT MY EARS ANYMORE

Oh goodness me, a dark Mickey game? How delightful! As a Disney and Kingdom Hearts enthusiast, I am excited to see further development of Nightmare Fuel potential within the genre! I may be too hardened by my exposure to such things to fully appreciate it, but I'll just have a click on the links and see what'saaaaaAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH OHHHHH GAAAAAAAWD THEY FINALLY MANAGED TO CRAWL OUT OF MY NIGHTMARES AND INTO REAL LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE THEY HAVE THE HOOKS TO PULL OUT MY EYES AND MAKE ME ONE OF THEM AND EVERYTHIIIIING

*WHEEZE* *WHEEZE*

...CAN'T...STOP...SHUDDERING...

...*VOMIT*

...*cough*...*sob*...

...oh man, is this gonna be awesome or what :D

...

...OH GAAAAWD THEY'RE GONNA TAKE MY EEEEEYEEEEES *VOMIT*

Last night, after two days by the lake...
Myself: Huh, funny spots on my face. *scrub* ...they're not coming off. *scrub* ...OH MY GOD I HAVE SKIN CANCER.
My brain: Oh hey, it's been a while since our freckles have been visible :D
Myself: ...I HAVE FRECKLES?!

So yeah, maybe I should go outside more often.

On the subject of people who never get any sun, it's time for vampire snark! Oh man I am so good at smooth segues.


( By the blood of a Vampanese! It's time for Twilight Junior with Cirque du Freak: The Darren Shan Saga )

Hey, man, I thought that you were dead, I thought you crashed your car
No, man, I've been right here this whole time playing bass guitar


I seem to be officially alive again. The Internet spontaneously came back on yesterday, and it seems to be holding steady, so I believe they finally activated the new cell tower. Hooray!

Not a lot to update on--while I was away, I mostly got caught up on my gaming, did some reading, and took down the entirety of Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni in like a week because holy SHIT is that series awesome. I also met Inky face to face, which is MORE awesome, but I wanna run the pictures I took by her before posting them. So...uh...yeah, a whole lotta nothin'. I've got a new scan project in the works, but it's in the early stages, yet.

Coincidentally, though, Zeiss just posted the first Take Me to Ariake! snark installment that I was a guest for, so now's a good as time as any to plug it. Inky and Zeiss are the bee's knees and they snark beautifully together, and it's my own fault for not mentioning this fine work of mindrape earlier. Check it out, guys, just don't do it on a public computer.


Further bulletins as events warrant.

Connection's utterly dead. Utterly. Dead. I can only get online at the lab. I'm sure you've had enough of my whining about such, just a heads up to my snark buddies.

In the meantime, a post I made on Wugwhuh that I've been meaning to make here.

When I first heard Mister Roboto by Styx, I assumed it was a story about a near-future civilization that's provided for entirely by technology. At the height of this nigh-utopia, a mysterious robot appears as a leader and exhorts people to free themselves from their pleasant stupor and return to the proud race they once were, as the machines are dehumanizing them. The society embraces the movement--it's not just The Right Thing, it's absolutely fashionable--and destroys their mechanical helpers and saviors with zeal. Finally, when all human beings are standing free of all technological augmentation, the beloved leader reveals himself to be a soldier in a robot alliance, sent to trick humans into making themselves helpless through the guise of empowering them. As the song ends, humanity is being enslaved and robots dominate the earth.

Apparently it's actually about a rock and roll misfit prison and mindless robots and junk.

...So Yeah.


Stay tuned, kids. I'll be back someday.

Internet tentatively--TENTATIVELY--back to normal. Gawd, that was an unpleasant stretch. Hopefully it won't be a reoccurring...well, occurrence.

Further on the plus side, a random user was good enough to inform me that unpaid users can have custom moodsets, so my Kirby theme finally rides again! It's kind of sad how much I missed it. Oh Kirby, you make everything better.

More snark to come at some point. Patience. In the meantime, enjoy some utter win (thanks for the link, Perrykins<3). Ah, those were the days...

The class led a round of applause for our teacher.

I did not join in.

Final Grade: B

(This actually happened a while ago, but I forgot to document it. Remembered while watching Coonskin, the majority of which has apparently been deemed too intense for YouTube since I grabbed it. Hell, the hallucination sequence (5:30 on) was almost too intense for me...oh, Bakshi, you so nucking futs.)

My mother and I are driving somewhere, talking about disturbing cartoons...
Mom: That bizarre Felix movie always reminds me of the time in college when my boyfriend and I went to the only air-conditioned theatre in town because it was so hot out and ended up seeing a pornographic Felix cartoon.
Myself: Yeah, you've mentioned that before. It's a shame it wasn't Fritz the Cat, that would've been EPIC.
Mom: ...oh! You know what? It WAS Fritz the Cat! That was the name of it! I mixed it up with that other weird one!
Myself: You saw Fritz the Cat in theatres? YOU? THE Fritz the Cat? The most famous adult cartoon ever? The first movie to EVER get an X rating? THAT Fritz the Cat? BY ACCIDENT?!
Mom: It was hot out!

So, yeah, it runs in the family. Kind of like this, but with disturbing cartoons and a fifteen-year time delay on the zygote thing. I have yet to watch it, but I'll let you guys know if any scenes seem eerily familiar.

Also? My mom. Totally awesome. As if we needed any more evidence.


ETA: Removed link since I realized it was to the sequel to Fritz the Cat. The movie proper is also apparently too intense for YouTube. Pity.

(Don't miss the last post--snark ho!)

Sweet mothering truck, someone finally uploaded A Journey Through Fairyland on YouTube! Awesome!

If you're a friend or long-time reader of my journal, you'll recall my mentioning JTF before, as yet another one of Sanrio's utterly insane feature films. Sanrio was also the driving force behind both Unico movies, A Mouse and His Child, Sea Prince and Fire Child, and something else that escapes me at the moment. It's a hell of a track record, and JTF is no Nightmare Fuel exception. Unlike the others, I actually saw this movie as a small child. It was the source of my most enduring imaginary friend (Tribble the Black Squiggly Thing, as Treble the Clef Note was lost on me), and it was one of the first anime movies I ever saw. It was also the source of Baby's First Tentacle Scene. While it was my favorite scene, it was out of morbid curiosity as to what the inexplicable thing WAS, not out of interest in what it was doing. My, how things change...

Creepy fetish content aside, the quality's a bit of a wash, but it's still well worth a look if you like old anime, weird cartoons, or, well, tentacles. Really cute in parts and utterly insane in others, this remains one of my bizarre favorites and I've been wanting to share it for years.


In other "bizarre things Del was obsessed with as a kid" news, I found a slime mold today! When I was a kid, I read an article and pictured something akin to the Blob, and spent months trying to find one to keep as a pet. While they're not quite like I pictured, they're almost as amazing--a creature that's not quite plant and not quite animal, with amoebas and spores and all kinds of cool shit in. I actually noted its movement of about a centimeter from where it was before class to where it was after, and it left a red trail in its wake. Possibly it was upset that I poked it with a stick. In short, he's the coolest thing I've ever seen, his name is Archimedes, and I love him. I told the Bio lab tech about him and she was happy to take a look, but vetoed my suggestion that he could be a class pet on the grounds that they're difficult to maintain. That's okay, Archimedes is a ramblin' man.

This one's for you, Archimedes. In several months, you may have managed to amble off, but you will always squish along in my heart.


ETA: wtf the school just went into lockdown? more later
ETAA: Lifted. Freaked out now. Update from home.
ETAAA: I have no idea what that was about. They herded us into the center of the library and turned off the lights--no one knew what the lockdown was for and they were afraid of someone seeing us and shooting at us. Tensest fucking five minutes of my adult life. If I died because I spent an extra two hours at school hugging Pokemon eggs and downloading YouTube videos, I would be so pissed at myself as a ghost. Guess I'll find out later what happened, assuming for now that Archimedes grew to epic proportions and attacked the city. Need vodka now.

Re: The continuing drama on the House: I have little to no idea what's going on, and to be honest, I really don't care. I'm having some Internet issues anyway, so consider me on hiatus for the weekend. Wake me when the wank is over.

Intrapersonal Communication; everyone's talking about sex for some reason...

Joe: I'd say this is the horniest class I've ever taught!
Guy: Yeah, but you'll notice it's all the girls.
Chick: See, that's just what you think. We're not horny, we just know talking about sex makes guys laugh. We're doing it for you.
Myself: (politely raising a hand) I'm horny.

...and lo, order was not to be re-established that day.

Realized I didn't have any recent pictures of myself, including me in quasi-drag. Rectified the situation.


( Girls will be girls will be guys )


Aaand back to Intrapersonal Communication. Joy.

From today's video (in a college class)...

"[Positive energy] is like electricity, y'know? No one really knows what electricity is!"

"No one really knows what electricity is"

"No one really knows what electricity is"

"No one really knows what electricity is"

"NO ONE REALLY KNOWS WHAT ELECTRICITY IS"

( FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-- )


ETAA: New Screencaps of Evermore! I'm seriously close to being on something vaguely resembling a roll, guys.

I got drunk!

...woo-hoo?