Tuesday, February 14th, 2012

i was grinding my teeth, i was wasting my youth, and using up my teeth

The deep end
The deep end
People talk a lot, but they don't know
They pretend
They pretend
They don't really know how deep it goes




Not my best, but at least I'm not one of the Smashwords pornmongerers. Valentine's Day is a shitty day for an ebook site's servers to go down like the cheap whores the users are trying to peddle.

Anyway, last of the trunk stories and a Valentine's Day story kind of? Only really included for completeness and because I care about the characters. If you're thinking of buying, go Fantastical God-Machine instead.

Tune in next time to watch Del stare at a blank Word template forever. Show's over, folks.
(...or is it?)
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Friday, January 20th, 2012

please don't set me free, i'm as heavy as can be

It is cold. Cold cold cold cold coooooold. And I think I have the flu or something. Really creepily good circumstances for Toast to have my next cover ready.



I wish I could remember what I was listening to when I was working on this. Aces to assholes says Amanda Palmer, but I'm having a hard time recalling*.

Probably Sheep Song that seems pretty relevant )
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Monday, January 16th, 2012

one square foot there's gotta be mine

so I guess I'm doing this thing

is acute nausea and dizziness and possibly drooling a little the proper response to this situation I'm not sure anymore
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Monday, May 24th, 2010

i'll ask you for 'em back when i'm ready and done

Okay, kids, this is a special edition of my annotations. Unlike the others, which are personal notes/self-indulgent bullshit, this one is...well, more or less necessary. It is also TL;DR as all hell, though, so be warned.

Original story is here if you missed it.

Lightning Split (Annotated) )
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Saturday, May 1st, 2010

and I'll ask you for 'em back, when I'm ready and done

The closest you will get to an explanation of last entry )
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most people are not ok, but they're taking their siestas in the sun

Lightning Split )
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Monday, October 19th, 2009

what the

Well, I totally forgot THIS existed. Wow.
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Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

we'll be decked in all black and slamming the pit fantastic

I was gonna bitch about how much of a whore my father is being, but...yeah, this has been way too much like an actual LJ lately, WTF. He's a bitch, leave it at that. I saw a picture of a bedsore today! That's cool! Yeah!

Anyway, the real reason I'm updating is to notify those of you who live within mule-floggin' distance that I'm going to be participating in the student reading at the Kirtland House at 5:30 on Monday. You can watch me stutter my way through Sepsis, watch other people read their own stories and poetry and whatnot, and if you show up at 5:00, you can stuff your face with free food! They generally have little meatballs and chicken wings and a fruit platter with FROSTING. Fucking FROSTING, man, all in a little bowl like dip and you get your strawberries up in that shit and it ROCKS. Generally lasts a couple of hours, nice informal shindig...so, yeah. If you don't have anything better to do and you want a free meal, consider stopping by.

As a side note, I took Megan's suggestion to, well, censor the images I'm using for my Internet Censorship presentation. Perhaps you, the reader, can tell me if I did a good enough job editing out the naughty bits...

Very dubiously WS )

ETA: OH SHIT I'M ON THE FUCKING BANDWAGON GUYS
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Saturday, April 11th, 2009

i speak for all of us when i say i understand why you folks might hesitate to submit to our demands

But here's an F-Y-I: You're all gonna die screaming )
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Saturday, March 28th, 2009

i know it isn't easy living here on skullcrusher mountain

So maybe you could cut me just a little slack; what's with all the screaming? )
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teeth are extruded and bones are ground, and baked into cakes which are passed around

Self-Snark Part 2: Exposition and Man-Ass-Whippin' )
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the self-snark project: the life of a mary sue

Okay, kids, it's like this.

When I was twelve-ish, I enrolled in Immanuel Christian School (actually Immanuel Baptist School, although all denominations were welcome...except Catholics). It was a basic one-room schoolhouse sort of deal, with very few traditional classes. Instead, everyone was given workbooks and sat at their desks to do a few pages in each every day. I frequently finished early, and rather than do something productive like work ahead, I would read, pretend to check the date on my page-a-day cartoon calendar (instead reading ahead in the cartoons), occasionally try to sneak a nap...the usual slacker bullshit. But mostly, I would write, because it made me look like I was working on something legit if a teacher was looking. I wrote like hell. I haven't counted my notebooks, but there's at least a dozen in my room, some filled cover-to-cover and started again on the opposite pages, going the other way.

When I was fourteen, I diverted the majority of my creative energies into roleplaying. The notebooks were left alone because the writing in them was cringeworthy (actually, the RP tended to be cringeworthy too, but enh, hindsight). For years, they've remained utterly untouched...

...until now.

In the interest of converting my early writing to a digital format, I'm transcribing it to a text document. And in the interest of lulz, I'm snarking the thing in full.

This is terrible shit, guys. Seriously classic stuff. It stars me and my ignorance of what hurt/comfort was, and it wobbles between head-deskingly awful and eye-twitchingly disturbing. I honestly don't remember the majority of what I've written, so it's like reading something by a totally different person. A fanbrat person. A Sue person.

So, won't you take this journey of self-discovery with me? You can make whatever cheap shots you want, and I promise I won't get offended. It's a learning experience! A lulzing experience. A lurching experience. Oh hell I have been up too long.

Y'all don't have to read if you don't want. It's mostly for my own entertainment. Hopefully it'll turn out kinda funny, but I make no promises.


Let's get this party started. )
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Sunday, February 22nd, 2009

i'm squinting my eye and turning on and off and on and off the light

So I was working out a few days ago, and I suddenly realized I've given all but two of my characters jobs. Not even Sue jobs, just...jobs. Occupations that largely have no bearing on their stories. I even made a list...


This is probably going to be uninteresting to everyone but me, but what else is LJ for? )


I didn't TRY to do any of this, it just HAPPENED. It kind of freaks me out. Also, I feel bad for Will, although I maintain that eating people and being gay is a full-time effort. Do any of you other writers do this subconsciously?
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Monday, October 20th, 2008

i know now what life's all about

acl'djlf'lkfl;l; i have been SO FREAKING BUSY lately I haven't even been able willing to keep up with my faux content but anyway THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT THIS IS.

PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
but play Earthbound first
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
YOU HAVE NO EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE
or maybe you do but YOU SHOULD STILL
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3
PLAY MOTHER 3

Oh yeah, and in less important news, I wrote a thing. Well, half a thing. It doesn't have an ending. I am in SERIOUS NEED of NEGATIVE FEEDBACK and CONCRIT, if anyone can give it. Seriously. Please. I don't know where I'm going with this shit and I need someone to help me define it. All the class gave me was "This is icky"/"omg rite moar!!!".


Untitled )
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Tuesday, April 29th, 2008

da da da da da da daaaah, da da da da da da daaaah da da da

OKAY EVERYONE

OKAY EVERYONE PICTURE ME ROCKING OUT TO THE INSTRUMENTAL PART OF THIS

LIKE DANCING REALLY HARD AND STUFF

'CAUSE I TOTALLY ENTERED THE COLLEGE WRITING CONTEST

AND I TOTALLY WON IT IN THE FACE

MY EXISTENCE IS VALIDATED

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


P.S.: Sorry to brag |D |) |B
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