You know that scene at the end of Lord of the Flies, where half of the boys are setting things on fire, the other half is dead or trying not to be set on fire, everyone's half-naked and covered in pig's blood, there are pikes and knives being brandished and all hell has broken or is about to break loose, and then a ship full of refined, well-dressed gentlemen shows up and the boys just stop dead in the shock of civilization? ...yeah, that's about gonna be the scene when Alltell gets the new cell tower built. If they get the new cell tower built. Things are gettin' ugly here.

In other words, pardon my continued absence. Here's some snark, in an attempt to keep the fire lit.


( A Twisted Fairytale, Part 4: 'He's a WHAT? Seriously? SERIOUSLY?' )


We're getting closer to the end. Slowly, slowly closer to the end. Hang in there, guys.

Dap: I talked to (girlfriend) about it and she doesn't like the idea of making fun of what is potentially someone's misguided best effort. We had a long talk about it, but the upshot is I value her more than the snark... I really am sorry. If we have the author's permission, it's all fine.
Del: ...so, how LONG have you been pussywhipped? 'Cause I know I didn't get away with this shit.

FOR THIS PERFORMANCE (AND ALL UPCOMING PERFORMANCES), THE PART OF DAP WILL BE PLAYED BY INKWEAVER. WE APOLOGIZE FOR ANY LULZ THIS MAY CAUSE.


( A Twisted Fairytale, Parts 2 and 3 )


We've got Chapter 4 halfway done. Bricks will be shat, oh yes they will.

Inky and I are co-snarking a terrible FFVII fic!

Huzzah!

I'm skipping class tomorrow because I need to recover from the fact that our teacher believes that domestic abuse is caused by miscommunication!

...huzzah.

[05:22] Delcat42: Unf. Is it a bad sign that good worldbuilding turns me on about as much as the sex it leads to does?
[05:23] janus262: Depends upon what you're talking about. Explain further.
[05:23] Delcat42: You know how Vincent's transformations/inner demons are usually treated in fanfiction, right?
[05:23] janus262: Hrrrnno.
[05:24] Delcat42: Chaos, and sometimes Galian Beast, are the only ones who get ANY attention, and then only as angst triggers or rape instigators.
[05:24] janus262: Oh, yeah.
[05:25] Delcat42: I have a terrible soft spot for them. I've even put some worldbuilding behind Death Gigas, who I believe is actually the most intelligent.
[05:25] Delcat42: And so comes along this...and I'm sold.
[05:28] Delcat42: Talk logical extension of pre-existing canon aspects, baby. Makes me feel so dirty in my AU.
[05:28] Delcat42: Yeah, I'll let you expand on my notions anytime.
[05:29] Delcat42: ...this is Pyrasaur's fault >(

New Screencaps of Evermore up, hoorj! I'm really hoping to get this at least 75% done by the end of the summer. Considering we're almost half-done now, I don't think it's too much to ask.


Been cruisin' YouTube again, and turned up a trio of vintage creepy cartoons.

--Mickey Mouse and the Haunted House is a nice piece of oldschool Disney, back when Ub Iwerks was injecting his merry brand of macabre into everything he got his hands on. You can see him having a lot of fun, here. Man had a skeleton fetish, I swear. Also a touch of that good ol' 1929 casual racism, always fun for getting YouTubers up in arms.
--Four years later came Mickey Mouse and the Mad Doctor, which lifted and cleaned up a few elements from the first cartoon, then added several bucketfuls of extra weirdness for good measure. Featured within is a skeleton spider. With six legs. Think about it, and let your inner biology professor cry.
--This scared the ever-loving SHIT out of me as a kid. I couldn't understand what anyone was saying, just that obscure but terrible torture was going on. Nightmaaaaares. Friggin' Felix was always good for that.


Oh hey, I DID forget to annotate a fic. I THOUGHT I missed something. Well, I'll hit that later. In the meantime, here's my one Phoenix Wright fic, Clockwork. This is the snarkiest of the annotations so far, I think.

( There should be a mildly amusing tag here but I REALLY have to piss )

Mm. I smell like girl.

Another fic, original here, mild spoilers for SH1. It's a gimmick-fic as always, so if you're actually remotely interested, I'd recommend reading the original first.

Additionally, I've been playing with Spore (hasn't everyone?). If you want to see my monsters or take 'em for a test drive, my profile's here. Seeing about videos, but my connection's pissy in this weather.

Anyway...

( I Just Can't Live Without Her )

Omnomm'd an entire 440-page webcomic in one sitting last night, holy wow. I was going to stick it in with the rest of the "READ THIS" webcomics when I did my big update, but it's not like any of the others so I might as well stick it here. Read Rice Boy, everyone. It's wonderfully different, occasionally humorous, and delightfully trippy, plus it's filled with awesome monsters. Thanks to Wufei for the link.

In the meantime, I really am trying to slog through a backlog of personal projects before the summer's out, so I spent the morning annotating my fics. I don't know why these would actually interest anyone else, aside from the bits and pieces of self-snark, so you don't have to feel obliged to read. As a person who occasionally rents DVDs just for the commentary, I know I'm not well enough in the head to understand what a normal person finds entertaining. On the off chance you want the glimpse inside my head, though, I've got nothin' better to do than post 'em up here.

First up is my first (real) fic, Lost Angles. Beware the Big Spoiler from Silent Hill 2. (That's one of the things I love about Silent Hill, is that one of the game has a Big Spoiler, like Jacob's Ladder or The Sixth Sense. It's all out once you know, so watch yourself.)

( I wish I could claim I didn't know dang' well what I was doing and was cackling all the while )

My 'net's been down for about half a week, and is only tenuously up at the moment. While I continue to get my shit together, please enjoy this fun project you can complete at home.

1. Read one of the best-known and best-loved FVII MiSTings ever written. Enjoy lulz.
2. Read this.
3. Compare and contrast.
4. Join me in reviews or e-mail to call the second author a twatmongling, cunt-gargling plagiarist.
5. For great justice!

All I'm asking you is to do what Phoenix Wright would do. He'd yell out "OBJECTION!"--why won't you?

...man, that random lyric-mangling came out of nowhere. BUT ANYWAY. Let's make some noise, shall we?

(I didn't have a journal then, but I need to stick this somewhere since GJ went down and bumping it to the front would be Prideful. Don't mind it.)


[House:] Ma chere Mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride
and greatest pleasure that we admit you tonight.
And now we invite you to relax, ignore your necrosis,
as Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital
proudly presents...your diagnosis.

We'll...
Do...
Tests
We'll do tests
On your kidneys, spleen and breasts
Just tie on this backless gown, my friend
And we'll provide the rest
MRI's
An LP
And a colonoscopy
In your grey stuff we'll be mucking
Don't believe me? Ask the ducklings
They cure shingles
They cure scurvy
After all, this is New Jersey
And the treatment here is never second best
Go on and have a seizure
Vomit blood and be sure
We'll do tests
We'll do tests
We'll do tests

Captopril
ACE
Morphine dripped from an IV
You describe and we'll prescribe
An entire pharmacy
You're alone
And you're scared
And you're visually impaired
But no one's gloomy or complaining
'Cause my snark is entertaining
I make jokes
I do tricks
With my gimpy cripple-stick
I just hope you don't
My sympathy expect
[All:] Come on and fill this glass
We'll take the pee you pass
To do our tests
[House:] If you're stressed
It's a hooker I suggest
[All:] We'll do tests
We'll do tests
We'll do tests

[House:] Life is not so stunning
For an athlete who's not running
He's down a peg without a leg to stand upon
Ah, those good old days of porn and golfing
Suddenly those good old days were gone
Five years I've been limping
Missing out on all the pimping
Needing action and a chance to use my skill
Most days I just watched soaps in the clinic
Bored, unsexed and lazy
He walked in and oops-a-daisy!

[Wilson:] It's a test
It's a test
It's a bug that can't be guessed
She's sedated, intubated
And the team is feeling pressed
That must mean
They need me
For I know oncology!
While they check her epiglottis
I'll be hanging 'round the office
Talk to Greg
Talk to Rob
It's not like I have a job
I'm standing by, I can help on his request
We've got a lot to do
Is that one lump or two?
On this test
[Chorus:] On this test
[Wilson:] On this test
[Chorus:] On this test

We'll do tests
We'll do tests
Your condition has regressed
We'll search your house and your belongings and your car
'Cause we're obsessed
With your life
With your lies
Yes, indeed, it satisifies
While your vitals are still pinging
It's the drama
We'll keep bringing

Scan by scan
One by one
'Til they shout, "Her heart, it's done!"
Then we'll bring you back from cardiac arrest
Yes, you'll thank us later
So don't be a hater
Be our guest
For our tests
For our tests
Please, be our guest

[House:] (spoken) It's vasculitis!