Delcat Delcat (![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} delcat) wrote,@ 2011-04-23 05:19:00 |
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| Current mood: |  hungry |
| Current music: | Lazytown--Good Stuff |
| Entry tags: | joint snark, snark |
what goes down must come up, what goes down comes up
[NOTE: This was all one continuous conversation, the spacing is just so it's easier on your eyes.]
[ADDITIONAL NOTE: It will not make it easier on your brain.]
Seiran: TV Shows » Supernatural » Anorexic Sam
Delcat: > <
Seiran: I like a title that gets straight to the point.
Seiran: Broken Boys
Author of 6 Stories
Seiran: I like a pen name that gets straight to the point.
Seiran: *tries to imagine Sam anorexic, because he's really tall and his frame is huge*
Delcat: Is it anorexia or bulimia or both where your hair eventually falls out?
Seiran: Both. Your systems shut down.
Delcat: 'Cause he is totally with the hair.
Seiran: But Erin everyone knows fic characters don't get ICKY side effects. Just DRAMATIC ones.
Seiran: *reads bulimic!Dean and tries to imagine that*
Delcat: I remember the first time I saw a bulimia fic and I thought that it was extremely odd considering the disease is much more prominent in women than Ron Weasleys.
Seiran: I read one of those.
Delcat: It was probably the same one.
Seiran: I think the first one I read was House
Seiran: I hope it was the same one, cause otherwise there's more than one.
Delcat: It's Harry Potter. Probably everyone has at LEAST one.
Delcat: Including Voldemort, which is gross 'cause it shoots RIGHT out his snoot slits.
Seiran: MOVIE ONE = NOSE.
Delcat: He borrowed it from Quirrell, duh
Delcat: FF.net search must be broken to all hell 'cause it only bounces back one result for--oh, I spelled it wrong
Delcat: The Beat Of My Heart by ohstar. reviews
NileyOneshots.First chapterOr don't love me. Miley feels bad about Jake leaving her, and starts to fight perfection by becoming Builimic. Jake doesn't care, but someone does. That someone is always there to pixk up the piecesChp one focuses on Builima.
Delcat: Still, what a winner.
Seiran: One result for what?
Delcat: 38 found: bulimic
Seiran: *submits electronic signature to AFF as Dean Winchester*
Delcat: Poetry...Mermaid Saga...Harry Potter, Scrubs, Yu-Gi-Oh...
Delcat: Why Me? » by emolicious1212 reviews
Whats the point in living if my dad abuses me, im bulimic and suicidal? Why me? Better than it sounds.
Degrassi - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,578 - Reviews: 47 - Updated: 4-10-11 - Published: 3-17-11 - Clare E. & Eli G.
Seiran: Emolicious!
Delcat: It's not a fic if it's a paragraph
Delcat: reviews disagree
Delcat: In God We Trust by Koshka
A bulimic/anorexic angel? God never rushes things... (Note: Part of the Epilogue was "set in place" by a friend, I was given the okay to add another angel...)
Touched by an Angel - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,420 - Published: 8-2-00
Delcat: ...oh.
Delcat: Down in Flames by BaByJoHnisMINE reviews
Harry gets drunk one night and calls Ginny fat. Now Ginny is bulimic. She's becoming weaker every day. What is Harry going to do? **COMPLETE**
Complete - Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,639 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 3-15-03 - Harry P. & Ginny W.
Delcat: *dies*
Seiran: I thought bulimic angels were how we got snowflakes ;_;
Delcat: ...I lovehate you.
Seiran: Wait, what do angels eat?
Seiran: Erin, read that fic, find out what angels eat.
Delcat: Books » Bible » Mia in the Mirror
cheerio777
Author of 6 Stories
Rated: T - English - Angst - Reviews: 4 - Published: 12-10-05 - Complete - id:2696907
Again, sorry, this doesn't have direct reference to the Bible. The character is a Christian though, so hopefully I didn't totally miscategorize it. :)
Delcat: Woooow.
Delcat: Hang on, hang on
Seiran: You realize this is not counting the THOUSANDS of fics whose summaries only refer to a "dark/dangerous/deadly/terrible/painful secret"
Delcat: "Is Jennessa scarred from the fire?"
"No, Angel Baby." Tess said,
Delcat: Is that PTSD? No, it's my dance moves.
Seiran: *snrk*
Seiran: Jennessa. Nice.
Delcat: Carl held a hand up. "Does she isolate herself in a place of her own? Does she have a stash of junk food that you might have noticed? Has she ever left the water running for an unusually long time at various times of day?"
Delcat: Shit, I'm bulimic.
Delcat: "I don't know what you're talking about! My daughter doesn't have bulimia or anor. . . anore. . . whatever!" She turned and marched off.
Seiran: Butterflies and Flowers by Anorexia reviews
Girls with eating disorders were like butterflies and flowers. As time passed, the more withered they became.
Seiran: Wait, what?
Seiran: Butterflies?
Seiran: Butterflies wither with time?
Delcat: when they ~*die*~
Seiran: SO DOES EVERYTHING
Delcat: It looks like it's just the patient or consort or client or whatever. Lame.
Seiran: 120 results for bulimia
Seiran: Lotta Naruto
Delcat: Yeah, I know I'm missing a ton, I'm just quickscreening for Vincent
Delcat: because I just have this FEELING now
Delcat: Xavier Rehabilitation Center for Gifted Youngsters » by emotionalcrack reviews
AU : With Powers. Xavier School actually is a rehab center for troubled mutants. Rogue's addicted to heroine, Jean takes adderall, Kitty is bulimic, Remy is an alcoholic.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 59,829 - Reviews: 185 - Updated: 6-20-10 - Published: 3-22-06
Delcat: ...well, the last one...
Seiran: Wait, what's Logan?
Delcat: Sandy the Bulimic Squirrel » by Royah reviews
Spandy; Sandy thought she could become the magazine cover woman just for SpongeBob, but she didn't know she'd have to sacrifice her health. PART TWO IS UP
Complete - SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,915 - Reviews: 22 - Updated: 2-24-11 - Published: 12-15-10 - Sandy & SpongeBob
Delcat: ........
Delcat: It was a very thin fish, much thinner than the other models that came up. But what made the image odd was the model's head was inside of a toilet bowl. Out of curiosity, Sandy decided to click on the image to find out what it was about. A lengthy article titled 'Bulimia' was what appeared on the screen. She has heard of Bulimia, but has never studied it. She has been studying sea creatures for a large portion of her life, and fish rarely develop eating disorders, so she never looked at them.
Delcat: I'm picturing this in the show's style, it's glorious
Seiran: Erin toilets in Spongebob verse make little mechanical sense
Delcat: These Ribs Through My Skin » by icykyrstin reviews
This is based on years later, all the Rugrats are sixteen : Kimi is told she is fat by people she thought were her friends...so now, she turns bulimic. What will her friends do to save her....?
Rugrats/All Grown Up! - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,400 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 11-25-04 - Published: 6-30-04
Delcat: Pretty much confirms theory re: Rugrats Grown Up fans being terrible people
Delcat: HELL of a lot of Degrassi.
Delcat: Disputed Complications by GothicSora reviews
The first season digidestined are going through a really hard time so how does each one deal with their hurtful problem? Warning Sex, cutting, drugs, bulimic, suicide, sexual orientation, Abuse etc. Better decription inside
Digimon - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,705 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 11-28-05
Delcat: God, that's a lot to squeeze in.
Delcat: Izzy looked down to see that his bed sheets were covered in blood much like his sleeves were when he went to school.
Delcat: Kind of a dumbshite at cutting, huh Izz.
Delcat: Dismantle Repair » by Breaking.Down.Slowly. reviews
Bella is a bulimic with a horrible past. Edward is a highly successful and sought after doctor with a few secrets of his own. Can they fix each other or are they both doomed? AU, AH, OOC SOME DARK/HEAVY/SENSITIVE THEMES
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 22,545 - Reviews: 79 - Updated: 9-4-09 - Published: 5-5-09 - Bella & Edward
Delcat: ...I think that may actually be healthier than the book proper.
Seiran: Supernatural stories
>Angst
11,883 found:
Seiran: ...yeah I think so.
Delcat: Saving Bella by Twilight51545888 reviews
Bella is a slut. She is also bulimic. Everyone is jealous of her, but she is actually dealing with her Father's abuse daily at home. Secretly, she hates herself, is self abusive and is contemplating suicide. Can Edward save her? cutting, abuse. BE
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,408 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 2-11-10 - Bella & Edward
Delcat: All is Fair » by Lost Control reviews
Beatrice just wants to be taken seriously. She's bulimic, & she feels like she's falling apart. George Weasley has never taken anything seriously in his entire life, & he's about to get a wake-up call. T for eating disorders & dark humor. Eventual GWxOC
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,945 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 6-16-10 - Published: 3-12-10 - George W.
Delcat: Oh Joy! » by For All That Is reviews
Cloud really doesn't think their situation could get worse. Someone they love is dead. They are a band of bulimics and sluts, addicts and alcoholics. COULD anything get worse? Well your MALE best friend could find out you're in love with him. AU,ZxC,SxYuf
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,944 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 2-15-10 - Published: 12-18-09 - Zack F. & Cloud S.
Delcat: Oh, here we go.
Seiran: Why didn't you just search that cat?
Delcat: Luuuuulz
Delcat: They'd all been fucked up ever since their band had gained the notice of the media. It was Aerith's death that really did it though. Sephiroth became an alcoholic. Zack became a party animal, coming home every night with a new woman. Cloud became a junkie. And Yuffie found an addiction to adrenaline and throwing her guts up. She was strung out so hard on thrills and food it was scary.
Delcat: swing and a miss
Seiran: THRILLS AND FOOD
Seiran: I say that my first find wins for actually being called "Anorexic Sam"
Seiran: Wait, I found one called "Eating Disorder"
Seiran: Double win
Delcat: (looks one direction, then the other) ...hello?
Seiran: CAS CAN'T BE BULIMIC
Seiran: HE'S A FUCKING ANGEL
Delcat: WE JUST COVERED THAT
Delcat: Blunt Truth » by I'mDistracted reviews
Ginny remebers her days of bulimia. DracoGinny. Dont read if you dont like eating disorders.
Delcat: ARE YOU KIDDING, I FUCKIN' LOVE EATING DISORDERS
Delcat: Naruto was a rainbow. He burst life and color into a world of rain and darkness. Rainbows are created only by light and shadows, so why are they so colorful?
Why aren't they black?
Rainbows supposedly lighten up the sky, but it doesn't truly stop the storm. Rain actually goes through it, rainbows really absorb the water, until all the color is gone. And it is then the rainbow finally disappears.
Delcat: you are high as fuck sir
Seiran: There's actually another level of fuckedupedness to Cas
Seiran: Because he doesn't get his own corporeal body
Seiran: He uses a human vessel with consent
Seiran: "Hey look dude I said you could borrow my body to prevent the apocalypse. I didn't say shit about you starving it. Look at this. There is no trade-in value here. none of my pants fit dude."
Delcat: Sick Obsession » by no-me-gusta-espanol reviews
Even friends from grade school don't know each other's every secret. Bulimia.
Azumanga Daioh - Rated: T - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,657 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 11-25-10 - Published: 11-18-10 - Tomo T. & Koyomi M./Yomi
Delcat: No. No. NO.
Delcat: Broken Reflection by Raine Ishida reviews
When an outsider might see beauty undeserving, what does Kuja see when he looks in the mirror? Warning: Bulimia suggested.
Complete - Final Fantasy IX - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 527 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 2-16-04 - Kuja
Delcat: BWAHAHAHAHA
Delcat: Bulimia » by Hikari-and-Yami reviews
I fill the toilet beneath me with my remorse and shame – with my imperfections. And when I'm done, I flush it all away. - Puzzleshipping -
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,052 - Reviews: 16 - Updated: 4-15-11 - Published: 3-28-11
Delcat: "God, do you have to wax poetic every time you take a shit?"
"I AM SO FULL OF SIN AND WHITECASTLE"
Seiran: TIMOTHY. BRING ME YOUR SIN.
Seiran: I had a thought about a girl!
Delcat: Mom and Dad are gone and nobody cares so I'm gonna live on a mountain of CHAIRS
Delcat: Tourniquet » by M.J. Shaman reviews
But what starts as an excuse to get of of chores years before soon turns into a frightening 8 year long obsession, anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa, with everyone but Seto realizing that his life is in danger.
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: M - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 25 - Words: 55,790 - Reviews: 111 - Updated: 6-11-07 - Published: 12-11-04 - Seto K. & K. Jounouchi
Delcat: Okay, at least most of these are short. 55,000 fucking WORDS?
Seiran: Levamentum Morsus by KandKL reviews
Dean drinks. Sam cuts. The pain gets pushed back and life moves on
Seiran: You can't play fake Latin unless you're in HP
Seiran: Fandom rule
Seiran: sorry
Delcat: wait is there like a vomit curse in the sixth season
Delcat: that would be hilarious
Delcat: "DEAN STOP SAYING IT"
"I'LL STOP SAYING IT WHEN IT STOPS BEING FUNNY"
Seiran: You think you're being funny right now but you're being really childish
Delcat: Behind the Bathroom Door » by urwildestdreams reviews
A young girl struggles with her weight and body image. Bulimia becomes her newest hang up. And an unwelcome visitor visits her when she is alone. What will become of her?
Screenplays - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,388 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-18-08 - Published: 12-16-08
Delcat: I see a future in Lifetime movies for you, rising new star
Seiran: Bias Cut by cutelil211
My essay for english that i am doing last minute so dont read it! please and thankyou
Supernatural
Seiran: O.o
Delcat: ...link?
Seiran: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4156909/1/B
Delcat: Published: 3-26-08
Delcat: Signed Review: Delcat
Review: 9979 characters
Sooooo...did you pass?
Seiran: 126 results for "suicide" in a fandom where the existence of hell has been established?
Seiran: CHARACTERS ARE COMMITTING SUICIDE BECAUSE THEY CAN'T ESCAPE THEIR MEMORIES...OF HELL
Delcat: LIKE LEMMINGS SO THEY GO
Seiran: "Aw, damn. Damn it, I did *not* think that one through. Damn."
Delcat: "You're not helping your case any with that language, son."
Delcat: How did it get this bad? by MoneButterfly reviews
She knew that what she was about to do was a stupid thing, but she could not seem to stop herself. Warning: Eating disorder/Bulimia
Complete - Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 830 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4-28-10 - E. Prentiss
Delcat: Hetalia? How the fuck can countries be anor--oh. Please God tell me Korea isn't one of them.
Delcat: Narcissa, Draco...
Seiran: Invalid SearchThis error can happen when your keywords are too generic: the, we, are, you, us, etc. Search also ignore keywords shorter than 3 letters.
Delcat: ...what was it
Seiran: So has FF started banning taboo words or has "rape" finally become too generic a keyword for fanfiction
Delcat: ...try "cock".
Seiran: 6 found
Delcat: ...I want to think that they were having image problems.
Delcat: bulimia is the new pink » by ohio reviews
“James, can you please take him home?” Wilson nodded, too drained to remain frustrated with the situation as he continued to stroke the curved back of his friend despite the silence that now came from him as the retching had subsided.
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 14,835 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 8-19-07 - Published: 1-9-07 - G. House & J. Wilson
Seiran: Erin do you know what I am going to title my fic
Delcat: Rape?
Seiran: No my bulimia fic
Delcat: What?
Delcat: Understanding You » by crookshanks99 reviews
SPOILERS! COMPLETE, WOO! Contains real life situations namely Bulimia. I wrote this story after I watched someone close suffer from an eating disorder. M for a reason! tragedy/hurt/comfort/supernatural. I ONLY OWN THE PLOT, NOTHING ELSE! R&R and enjoy!
Complete - Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,527 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 4-26-08 - Published: 1-8-08 - George W. & Fred W.
Seiran: HLUGARK
Delcat: ...I love you. And oh my God I hope this is an ex-friend.
Seiran: Hlugark.
Delcat: The Only Difference » by Crystal Manning reviews
-Set during OotP- No one can see the difference between Fred and George. George is the only one who sees it and he’s the only one who can do something about it. Warning: anorexia, bulimia, self-mutiliation, possible incest and slash
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 23,942 - Reviews: 175 - Updated: 12-24-10 - Published: 5-25-08 - George W. & Fred W.
Delcat: No wonder Myrtle moans.
Delcat: Unwanted Situations » by Feball3001 reviews
Gohan gets caught up in a crazy life changing experiment when he attempts to rescues Erasa who was kidnapped. The results of the experiment leave Videl believing that Gohan has bulimia and she is out to prove it to the world. Warning MPREG
Complete - Dragon Ball Z - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 57,773 - Reviews: 42 - Updated: 6-3-10 - Published: 1-9-10 - Gohan & Erasa
Seiran: DON'T BLUGARK THE BABY
Seiran: MPREG + bulimia = still probably better than birthing it out the ass
Delcat: true.
Delcat: OH MY GOD
Seiran: ???????
Delcat: are you ready for this
Seiran: Yes
Delcat: Just a Shell » by StrawberiPai reviews
When Donatello hears his brothers talking about his weight, he misunderstands and thinks that they dislike him because he isn't as athletic as they are. To earn their respect, he starts a 'diet' that could seriously hurt him. Warnings: Anorxia/Bulimia
Ninja Turtles - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 14 - Words: 32,019 - Reviews: 113 - Updated: 1-11-09 - Published: 6-25-08 - Donatello & Raphael
Seiran: ...
Seiran: ...
Seiran: ...
Seiran: RADICAHLUGARK
Delcat: you weren't ready.
Delcat: OH GOD NO MORE PIZZA
Seiran: Link me link me link me
Seiran: Appreciated: "mutilation" in SPN turns up equal parts cutting fics, aliens killing cows, and demons slashing bodies.
Delcat: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4350467/1/J
Delcat: A/N: Hey guys! I hope you liked this story! I hope chapter two will be up sometime by the end of the week, because I'm really liking this! But hey, if you like this, you'll really like the story that inspired me to do it! It's called "Skeleton Appetite" by Puldoh, and it's on fan fiction! Since it sparked the idea, it's kind of similar but I really hope that it has a lot of really distinct differences since it's two different characters who will carry the situation differently. ANYWAY, all of Puldoh's stuff is awesome and I suggest it to anyone who likes this kind of TMNT story!
Delcat: is this
Delcat: like
Delcat: a thing
Seiran: *tries to imagine an obese turtle*
Seiran: *shell bulgies*
Seiran: 14 chapters oh god
Delcat: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1439918/Pul
Delcat: so many WORDS
Seiran: Oh god
Seiran: Oh god
Seiran: why am I in the pit
Seiran: when SPN has its own cozy fic site
Seiran: all its own
Seiran: that's moderated
Seiran: There's Sam girls and Dean girls and...what's a slash fan?
Delcat: He ate the one slice, hoping no one would notice he didn't eat five or six like the others did, and started to the lab again. No one stopped him, though all four members of his family watched him leave. He didn't notice that, though. He figured they're all be staring at the screen, not his shell.
Delcat: When Donatello got back to the lab he felt full, and it actually felt… good. But he didn't want to feel good. He wanted to be hungry. Hunger was good for him. It meant that he wouldn't be the slowest turtle.
Delcat: *dies*
Seiran: Snrrrrrk
Seiran: Oh hey! THe title "Just A Shell"
Seiran: that's like
Seiran: that's a play on words
Delcat: > <
Delcat: Pinching his arms and thighs, touching his face to see how much of a dent his fingers left on his cheeks, even typing his weight into online BMI monitors.
Delcat: []Male
[]Female
[]Turtle
Seiran: BMI Chart - Select Gender - M F T
Seiran: Right there with me.
Delcat: Always.
Delcat: Donatello sighed, moaning as he put his head in his hands. He was getting horrible headaches lately. They hurt like shell and he didn't know what to do about them. Aspirin had too many underestimated calories.
Delcat: what.
Seiran: Nutrition Facts
Serving Size: 1 tablet
Amount per Serving
Calories 0
Calories from Fat 0.0
% Daily Value *
Total Fat 0g
0%
Saturated Fat 0g
0%
Cholesterol 0mg
0%
Seiran: Was there less room in his shell, or was it just his imagination?
Delcat: The fight was easy. They were just some stupid thirty-year-old men who got in over their heads. The two turtles alone had the criminals tied up in under ten minutes. While Michelangelo called to their brothers, Donatello strolled through the isles looking at the bottles of medicine. Maybe diet pills would help? Laxatives? That would help him throw up, but he didn't have any problems with that… He looked around, checking to see where his brothers were.
They were in the background, talking about dinner. He sighed, do they ever talk about anything else? It was like they were doing it on purpose. He looked down at the pills and grabbed the one that looked the best. Phenterminsin. He'd never stolen anything in his life, but he needed this. He couldn't ask. Besides, didn't he just help save the store? Just one bottle is a lot better then how much those men came to steal. And he could always come back if he found money, and he would, obviously.
Delcat: Insurance claim
[] Theft
[] Act of God
[] Turtle
Seiran: THIS FIC NEVER ENDS
Delcat: like I'm READING it
Delcat: and not just watching the slow collapse
Seiran: A/N: Yeah, I know the order of the middle two brothers (Raph and Donnie) is a debatable subject.
Seiran: Like your sanity
Delcat: "We had epilepsy." Leo explained. "Probably a side-effect from whatever mutated us, that's Master Splinter had said… It faded when we got older. He didn't think that it would happen again, but he told Don and me how to deal if it did."
Delcat: EPILEPTIC ANGSTY TURTLES, EPILEPTIC ANGSTY TURTLES
Seiran: That's the best mental image ever
Delcat: EPILEPTIC ANGSTY TURTLES, HEROES IN A HALFSHsdljfdjlf;lsjkfak;l
Delcat: baw
Seiran: TEENAGE MUTANT EPILEPTIC NINJA BULIMIC TURTLES
Seiran: snrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk
Seiran: He found his trash can and leaned over it. After taking a deep breath. Donatello stuck his finger down his throat. He heaved twice before he felt retribution for the food he had eaten. He knew he'd have to be careful about this, if anyone found the evidence they'd be furious. He buried the vomit beneath some newspaper he found on his desk and then headed out.
Seiran: Erin this raises several questions
Seiran: and accompanying terrible mental images
Delcat: Well. They live in a *sewer*. This is probably pretty normal.
Seiran: >.<
Seiran: For dinner he'd actually had a piece of pizza.
Seiran: Dude do they even know other foods exist
Delcat: don't turtles eat greens and fish mainly
Seiran: I think anorexia is probably actually healthier than a 110% pizza based diet
Delcat: okay, it's chapter seven and he's admitting he has a problem
Delcat: where is the rest of this going
Seiran: Just like Anorexic Sam is probably just avoiding the heart attack of endless diner food
Seiran: Dean doesn't have a year to live because of the deal, the demon just saw into his arteries
Delcat: He picked up the first of four slices, and saw that Mikey had spread butter on it. That was… Thatg was way past the limit he had put on himself and more in the first bite. He had estimated, maybe, one hundred and fifty calories for toast. With butter, that bumped it up to four hundred or more… He stared at the slice in his hand, debating.
Delcat: well maybe you shouldn't DIP IT IN BEFORE EVERY BITE
Seiran: Also the toast was pizza
Seiran: Toast *with* butter
Seiran: Nutrition Facts
Serving Size: 2
Amount per Serving
Calories 150
Calories from Fat 18.0
% Daily Value *
Total Fat 2g
3%
Saturated Fat 0g
0%
Seiran: I realize it's harder for him because it was the 90s and they didn't have google
Delcat: WARNING: Do not take Phentermisine if you have:
A thyroid disorder;
Anxiety disorder;
Diabetes; or
Epilepsy or other seizure disorders.
Use of this medication my enhance or increase the dangers of the effects of these diseases.
Leonardo blinked, then made the connection.
Delcat: "IT'S THE DIABEETUS"
"My son, there is a reason we do not let you use the computers."
Seiran: DIABEETUS
Delcat: Not a drop of food was left. Raphael and Leonardo had both skipped breakfast, the food had already been made, and now it was all gone. Probably into Mikey, who ate when he was upset. Leo cursed and started picking up the plates.
'Damnit Mikey… I don't need you getting an eating disorder too…' he thought, looking out to his brother.
Delcat: so THAT'S how we keep the angst train rolling
Delcat: PULL THE WHISTLE, BOO-HOO
Seiran: The boo hoo choo choo runs on boo hoo
Seiran: *wants that as a macro for both SPN and TW now*
Delcat: "You're right." Leo said, drinking some coffee. "I was hoping you wouldn't find out, but… Well, I think Mike has some sort of…"
He stopped himself, and Donatello rolled his eyes.
"Binge eating disorder." He said, sitting down. "It's all right, I've seen all your brochures."
Seiran: Not pamphlets
Seiran: brochures
Delcat: Leonardo. Has brochures. On binge eating.
Delcat: Even if they WERE pamphlets. WHY.
Seiran: This year why not vacation in SUNNY BINGE EATING
Delcat: Megan this is YOUR childhood
Delcat: EXPLAIN THIS TO ME
Seiran: THE BOO HOO CHOO CHOO RUNS ON BOO HOO
Delcat: Megan, I...turtles don't...there's a limited capacity for...
Delcat: Megan is the turtle going to explode
Delcat: "Because it's not healthy…" Donnie said, looking over at Mikey. He must have gained -at least- fifteen pounds in the last two months. Donatello could see it on his arms and legs, and his face.
Seiran: Shell all bulgin'.
Delcat: Results for "fat turtle face": well I guess it is kinda chunky
Delcat: "It's fine. I've always eaten a lot, okay?" He said. "It's no big deal."
"Yes, it is." Donatello told him. "Obesity, diabetes, and heart disease! Come on, Mikey, this is a big deal."
Delcat: Leonardo, from three rooms over: DIABEETUUUUUUUS
Splinter: I don't know why I ever bothered mutating you stupid bastards
Seiran: Oh my god actual obses turtles are ADORABLE
Delcat: EEEEEEEEE NOT-SO-WEE TUR'LE
Delcat: "Come on Donnie!" he said. "This isn't even fair!"
"It's good for you." Donatello said simply. "If you're really hungry you'll eat it."
Michelangelo nodded and bit into the apple. He finished the whole thing in under two minutes, which confirmed to Donnie that his brother was going through binging withdrawal. When he was done he threw the core into the trash can.
Delcat: the trash can is also full of vomit
Delcat: "… I'm still hungry." he whined. Donatello laid down in his bed and tugged on Mikey's arm so his brother would follow suit. Michelangelo did without complaint.
"I know, Mikey." Donatello said soothingly. "Don't worry it'll pass, okay?"
The young ninja nodded, but Donatello heard a small whimper. When the elder brother looked down, he saw that Mikey had tears in his eyes, and one was trailing down his cheek.
"Oh Mikey…" he gasped, wrapping his arms around his little brother and hugging him close. "It'll be okay."
Delcat: oh God where is this going
Delcat: The next day Donatello woke up with Mikey in his arms, and he smiled. He couldn't help it, even though it was a bit selfish, he was glad that Michelangelo was having problems right now. It meant that Donnie could take care of him. He liked taking care of his family, it was something he was good at. Being relied on, soothing others and making them feel better. The fact that Mikey came to him the night before, upset, made his heart burst with happiness.
Delcat: MEGAN WHERE ARE THE CYANIDE CAPSULES
Delcat: TELL ME I RELOADED MY CYANIDE TOOTH
Delcat: "So how are you doin'? You've been eating lately."
Delcat: I start all my dates with that line.
Seiran: For some reason this fic keeps making me think of that dentist commercial when we were kids about the dinosaurs in the fishing boat
Delcat: Ohhhh God I remember that. That is so weird. [NOTE: Found it. yeah my sister has some problems]
Delcat: They all had the cereal that Donatello picked, which was odd since none of them liked Raisin Bran.
Delcat: TEENAGE MUTANT EPILEPTIC NINJA BULIMIC CONSTIPATED TURTLES
Seiran: They eat pizza that Splinter cuts into the shape of lucky charm pieces
Seiran: Pizza Os
Delcat: Splinter doesn't need to do that, they served that like every Tuesday at my cafeteria in college
Delcat: you use ranch dressing instead of milk
Seiran: >.<
Delcat: "Don't touch me!" he yelled, he fell to the ground but glared at Mikey. "You know what? You are more of a pig then I ever was! You're disgusting! Don't you get it?"
Michelangelo's eyes instantly changed from worried and scared to traumatized, then wounded.
Seiran: WOUNDED
Delcat: Man, this is like the angstfic author equivalent of reaching the end of an Elite Beat Agents level and just going hell-for-leather on the spinner.
Delcat: 10x 11x 12x 13x YARK
Seiran: Image search result for "wounded eyes"
Delcat: Donatello blinked and looked up at his brothers. Raphael was still frozen. Mikey was trying not to cry, and failing. Leonardo was trying to stay calm and negate the negative emotions.
Delcat: Splinter is in Vegas, fuck this shit my son
Delcat: When Donatello came to, he was lying in his bed with April hovering over him. She was hooking an IV into his arm. No one was looking at him, they didn't know he was awake.
"You should have told me about this earlier." she said to Leonardo, who was looking out the door.
Delcat: "I mean, you're turtles. Motherfucking TURTLES. Do you know how motherfucking stupid this is, you cunting bitches?"
"I don't like it when you swear April Mommy 8<"
Seiran: I love you.
Delcat: This is all I'm getting out of this fandom is what I'm saying
Seiran: INTERNET FULL CIRCLE
Seiran: GO BIG CIRCLE GO
Delcat: Where are the other two? Oh yeah, throwing up and eating.
Seiran: Erin tell me I should not be looking at TMNT on DA
Delcat: I shouldn't need to tell you obvious things Megan
Delcat: "It's me…" Mikey said to himself, looking at his reflection in the toaster and turning away. "He would be fine if he didn't have to be around me all the time."
He turned back to the fridge. Empty. The cupboards. All empty. He had eaten pretty much everything in the house. He took out a pint of milk and tipped it back. There was only about half of it left, so he didn't have to spend much time emptying it.
Delcat: turns out Leo's lactose intolerant, and Raph has a stoma
Seiran: The milk was actually pizza.
Delcat: Rphael hung his head and gritted his teeth together. He hadn't wanted to believe any of this. Whenever Leo gave him those stupid pamphlets or lectured him to be nice to Donnie, he ignored it. He didn't believe that his brother could really be that bad. And who's fault was it that Donnie got that bad? His.
Delcat: WHERE THE FUCK IS AN UNDERAGE TURTLE MUTANT GETTING PSYCH OFFICE HANDOUTS
Delcat: There was a loud knock on the door, and before Splinter could tell the person to enter, it threw itself open. Donatello was leaning against the doorframe, his body looked limp and useless, barely standing. His breaths were labored, and there were dark circles under his eyes. He clenched a note in one hand.
"Mikey's gone." he managed to gasp out. "He left."
Delcat: "I'VE GOT MY ROLLER SKATES AND MY SEMI OF PEANUT BUTTER AND THAT'S ALL I NEED"
Seiran: Yeah really he shouldn't be able to get far
Seiran: The note was actually pizza
Delcat: All three brothers and their father read the letter, feeling a mixture of confusion and horror. Mikey was in danger out there, the Foot could be searching for him that very moment, and he was weaker then usual.
Delcat: Where the fuck IS the Foot, anyway? Does Shredder just...is Shredder just suffering from too much secondhand embarrassment to deal with them?
Seiran: Dude if he just kicks back another month or two they'll obviously have brought themselves down from the inside
Delcat: Krang's gonna find him in a back alley and tease him mercilessly
Delcat: "LOOK, THE STUPID TURTLE HAS ENOUGH BODY FOR BOTH OF US NOW! NYURP NYURP NYURP"
Delcat: (Megan does Krang go Nyurp Nyurp Nyurp)
Delcat: (I do not know what brains go)
Seiran: Does now
Delcat: The Foot. All around him. And he was left defenseless. He had his bo, but he was currently using it to keep himself standing upright, and he almost positive that he wouldn't be able to keep standing without it.
He saw the desire in their eyes. They saw he was weak. He wouldn't be able to put up a fight. They had been trying to capture him for years, and here he was on a platter, with no way to fight back.
Delcat: Oh...God.
Seiran: ABANDON SHIP ERIN
Seiran: THIS WAY LIES MADNESS
Seiran: P.s. On a platter HAHA food ref
Delcat: Donatello crawled closer, the Foot stomped onto his hand, but he didn't stop. He kept inching towards Michelangelo, and then pulled himself on top of his brother. He lowered his head onto Michelangelo's chest. Mikey was unconscious, but his breaths were even, his heart was beating. Comforted by that fact, Donatello let himself fall into darkness, protecting his baby brother with his own body.
Delcat: Meanwhile, in Donatello's room, Raphael was busily washing out his brother's wounds, wrapping them. He wasn't as bad as it looked. The only serious injuries where his face, and those where just cuts and two shiny black eyes. One of his legs was broken, Raphael had to splint it and wrap it. He didn't even get any of his teeth knocked out, which was lucky considering how weak they had gotten from throwing up so much.
Delcat: Yeah, lucky the turtle didn't lose any HEY.
Seiran: Erin?
Seiran: Why didn't he protect himself with his goddamned shell?
Seiran: Teenage Mutant Ninja TURTLE
Delcat: You know how we were discussing how your system shuts down and your hair falls out when you don't eat?
Seiran: MENTAL IMAGES
Delcat: "I'm really big." He said, Donatello noticed his younger brothers blush before Mikey looked away.
This knocked Donatello for a loop. Not because Michelangelo said it, or because he thought it wasn't true (Because it was true, Mikey had gained a lot of weight), but because he hadn't really noticed. For three months now, Michelangelo had been eating almost non-stop, and he was bigger from it. His arms and legs where soft, he had a double chin, and his thighs almost touched… And Donnie hadn't even care.
Delcat: FURTHER MENTAL IMAGES
Seiran: I should sleep.
Delcat: Michelangelo was overweight, and Donatello loved him. That was all that mattered. And he would keep loving him. It would be the same if the positions were flipped, Mikey would love him. Donatello finally realized that. He smiled and brought his hand up to Mikey's face, feeling how soft and round it was and he smiled.
Delcat: Well. There's your lullaby.
Delcat: Wow. That...wow.
Seiran: Feeder.
Seiran: Calling it now.
Delcat: That sure was a fic.
Delcat: ...I wonder what the one it's based on is li--
Seiran: NO ERIN NO
Seiran: SAYUM
Delcat: BUT IT'S ONLY 18 CHAPTERS
Seiran: SAYUM
Delcat: DEAN I HAVE A PROBLEM
Delcat: Speaking of, before you go.
Delcat: Hard mode.
Delcat: Copy fic into .txt document.
Delcat: Find+replace "Mikey" and "Don" with "Sam" and "Dean".
Seiran: What then they've just got two random turtles living with them
Delcat: It IS SPN.
Seiran: Point.
Join us next time, because we haven't even touched the "anorexia" tag!
